I went for a mid-morning run yesterday. Headphones in, sun shining, Nike tracking…off, no time or distance goals to hit today…just me, some music and road ahead. I failed to mention the kids were with grandma. My house was quiet and I still went out. You may question my sanity later. I got approximately ¼ mile up the street (cause who am I kidding, I wasn’t tracking but still knew that routes distance) and song #2 hit me like a wall. I know that to some, Christy Nockels’ voice doesn’t exactly sound like running music but it was what I picked today. Song #2 stayed on repeat for my entire run and has been running through my head ever since. I got home and kept listening.
For Your Splendor
You can listen here And you should.
I just finished Jesus + Nothing = Everything by Tullian Tchividjian. I can’t recommend this book enough. It has challenged the way I see myself through Christ’s finished work. That’s right…finished work. If you attend Revive Church, I keep saying every week before communion that I can’t get away from “It Is Finished”. I’ll never get away from that. I should never get away from that. What that means has never been more in my face. I’ve highlighted and bookmarked a lot of that book. I told Ray when he reads it, he’ll appreciate my notes. Ha!
So the combination of that book and where God has been stretching me…this season of life we are in…and that song…something hit me today.
First thing – my fears are invalid. Even the ones that make sense in my head…they are invalid.
Not only are secret fears invalid, they are pride. My fears cause me to want to depend on myself. That always works out so well. My fears point to something deeper (all the ladies going through 7 with me know…it’s always something deeper). The “am I gonna measure up” fear…it’s a lie. The “am I gonna be all God calls me to be” anxiety trip…a lie. I am realizing more than ever the seemingly normal secret stuff that weighs me down and points to the lie. The fact is, the more I seek His face, the more I realize the “am I gonna miss it” fear disappears.
I am learning what it is to constantly measure myself up against what Christ has already done for me. It makes it really easy to see just how much this isn’t about me. It’s about Him and His glory. In all my striving, worrying, annoying those around me, God is pointing me to the no-brainer answer – It is finished. This is not a weighing reality. It is freedom. While I am a new creation, I will be constantly growing till I see His face. The “completion” part of “He who has begun a good work”…we don’t see that in its fullness till we see His face. We are always a work in progress. Always learning, always growing, always pursuing…doing so because of love and out of love. This progress doesn’t mean I have anything to earn. It’s finished. It’s “all for His splendor”.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.