The littlest one is my house started kindergarten.
I’d love to tell you she is as happy-go-lucky about it as her brother.
Sophia is the one who inflicts my deepest fears…the hyper-emotional mom moments. Cephas was just excited and ready to go, waiting on me to leave, full of confidence and enough creativity to have me not worried for him, but his teacher (who was awesome…and has Sophia this year). Sophia looks up at me with those big brown eyes. The eyes that are normally so confident and sassy…look at me with a certain degree of fear and a whole lot of nerves. Those eyes have me having to trust God with her fears and that He is able to relieve them.
This got me thinking about my mom.
God bless her…
She doesn’t realize how much she has taught me how to trust God with my kids.
When crazy 15yr old daughter comes home from youth camp and says “I know I’m called to ministry”. She said “are you sure”? When I sang the crazy surrender songs, “are you sure”? When I said I don’t belong here anymore and knew I was heading to CFNI, “you will never live at home again”. I was sure, I was sure…and I didn’t. When I made major moves (a lot of them…like to Dallas for school by myself and a stranger picked me up at the airport), dealt with others challenging leadership decisions, had challenging decisions to make my own, when my heart was broken and when it was overjoyed…she is still Mom and responds like a mother to a daughter. She encourages my faith when it comes to trusting God with the lifetime of unknowns ahead in raising children.
Pardon me as Sophia starting kindergarten brought all this up.
I want my kids to choose purpose over proximity every time. I want them to take risks, follow where God leads them and do what He calls them. I am learning that this will likely be an assault to my mother heart and emotions as their faith is stretched. They will deal with the choices of others and face situations that cause them to cling to Jesus.
While babies return from the first day of school full of stories and excitement, I sit and wonder how the 2’s seemed to last forever yet the littleness still managed a disappearing act.