Lets face it. It isn’t found where we want to find it. It’s not in that thing we can put our hands to, do more of, less of, add to or take out of our lifestyle. It’s not found in the checklists or the good intentions. In fact, all the things we want to find it in, leave us with the overwhelming reality that that is NOT where we find it. We aren’t clever enough to realize this fast enough. We get sucked into the game, a system of sorts that convinces us that since we can’t create it, we can’t find it. Since we can’t create it, we must keep striving until we do. This is the opposite of how it works.
On the days were we stop spinning our wheels long enough to realize the game we play…we stop, we find grace. We find the joy. We discover the peace. We find contentment. We find that all the spinning of our wheels, lists, intentions and so on and so on… What we search for is not something we can do our way into good standing with. In this case, we are in right standing, because we are. How simple, how beautiful. In the reality and complexity. Contentment is not something we earn, it is something we have. It is because of whose we are.
*On an overwhelming day, I have my moments where the very reminder of my state of mind can make me feel a bit sick. I got sucked in again. I tried to find it in a list. Those are the moments where I know I have allowed a thousand other things to get in the way. How very sneaky. Yet, God in his great mercy, draws me back in, reminds me where it is found and that it is already done.