Oh Monday, you are a ridiculous mystery. Just in case I needed a reminder as to why I need to post every Monday…
Was there anything really wrong with today? Not really.
It felt like a lot of little things. There were good things and sentimental things. IF Gathering is coming and this weekend, my living room will be full of incredible women seeking God together. There are still things that need to be done leading up to it…but I can’t wait. I am seeing where we are as a church and I feel as if there aren’t enough hours in a day for everything in my head and my heart. This is good but it makes not giving the time I want a challenge.
Our nation has never felt quite so divided. I’m sure it has been before, but I wasn’t around to experience it. It’s loud. It’s crazy and people are hurting/afraid/confused. This bothers me. I can’t avoid social media to avoid it. Maybe avoiding it is the problem… I haven’t really decided on that yet. Who am I kidding? I’m working on it.
Rhonda posted a picture of Caleb getting baptized before he left for Honduras. That about did me in. I had never felt as homesick as I did when he made that move. We had so many good conversations during that time. I cherished it then. When we lost him, I couldn’t help but remember how many times God used him to show me that I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t crazy. Oh that boy… The one year mark of losing him is coming and I can feel the ache in my heart.
Can life be a fight for perspective, the bigger picture, finding purpose and maintaining our sanity all at the same time? Yes. I know that it’s worth it. Simple things like a picture remind me just how fast and uncertain life can be. It reminds me again that there are things worth fighting for and time is so incredibly precious.
I blasted Andy Mineo and LeCrae in my ears. I came home and took my dog for a semi-successful trail run. I needed to run off some of my crazy. Maybe I should have ran a little further but my little four-legged buddy couldn’t hang.
It was just plain one of those days. So here it is, the perspective shift of hope that I needed…
This time of year has made me sentimental for a few years now. It has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day (just in case you were wondering). It has everything to do with a giant move from one really good place into a place we loved, knew God was leading and had zero idea how this was going to go. Prior to our last Sunday in San Angelo, we knew there were three families joining us on this insane church planting journey. I could talk about those people for days. A picture popped up on my Timehop that was a crazy reminder of just how insane things have been, the darker days we have walked through and how far we have come.
It was 6 years ago today when Michael and Erica Vogt told us they were moving to Austin. I believe that I asked them to slow down and repeat what they said. Yesterday, they did what they have done so well for so long. They spoiled our kids. I know that I am who I am today because of the investment and love of people just like them. My kids really do have it made in ways that they won’t fully understand until they are older. I hope it makes them so grateful they cry and find that loving people like they have been loved is what God uses to show off His goodness. I know it now. I only get more grateful with every passing year. They will too.
Sometimes the most insane seasons of life are the ones you look back on and see what you could have never imagined in the moment. These are things that I know now. Reminders of God’s faithfulness and a whole lot of hope can be the gift that comes out of really difficult seasons. I needed the reminder today. So while we do not live in the past, when it serves as a reminder and gives the extra shove forward, looking back and remembering is a gift.