I think that inspiration is good until it isn’t. At some point, you become like an angry drunk on inspiration and what was once encouraging has created an angsty cynic. Not a skeptic, but a full on cynic.
There have been seasons where I was up to my eyeballs with inspiration. It made me mad. I became a heartbroken cynic who wanted to believe the best but was flat out weary. I’m a bit of an optimist by nature, so believing the best comes pretty easily. Weary can set in and change everything. I am not the only one.
The heartbroken cynic: They are everywhere and the reasons they are in that season (much like the reason I was in that season) are many. I dare say that a lot of it has to do with our own unmet expectations, delays and fear that nothing will ever be different. Maybe we have been failed by people we thought were for us. Maybe there was a season where the Lord started to stir in your heart and when you shared your question or a new dream, you faced rejection you never saw coming. Regardless of the unlimited why, it shakes us. These seasons happen for everyone. I’m convinced I am not the only one. It may be a short season or one that lasts much longer than expected, but they do come.
If this is you, I need you to hear my heart in these words:
I have been praying for you specifically for 2 years.
My heart was broken for you in your season in a way that has shaken and shaped me and I have not stopped praying.
I have prayed for the hurting for a long time but this was specific and different. Since February 10, 2016, I have prayed for you…on purpose on a regular basis, asked God for you and for Him to show me how to love you and serve you.
I believe in what God calls the church to be with my whole uncomfortable heart. I know for some your biggest hurts from the ABSOLUTE LAST place that pain should have come from.
I don’t minimize your pain. I know it is real. I also know that there is a whole life on the other side of it…and that doesn’t typically happen overnight. You are not alone.
So here it is. I’m going to keep praying. I am going to keep asking God to do what only He can and show me the part I can play in it.
And if that is YOU, please please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I want to hear from you. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s ok. Just send me an email with a simple “you are talking about me”.