Full confession: I roll my eyes at 87% of all posts that start or end with “just being real”…or something to that affect.
Why? Because 87% of the time, it’s not out of the ordinary and no one thought otherwise. It’s not a confession. It’s not being honest. It’s you picking up your kids in your pj’s or leaving your laundry on the couch and no one thinks that that is that weird. Feel free to keep posting, but please stop calling it “real life”. Of course it is.
The differences are in our reality. I also could go on a crazy tirade about how often we use the word “realistic” to describe other people. We use it to describe other women but what we are doing is writing them off. We do it with body shape, weight, how clean our house is and how we spend our time, how we raise our kids and every other thing in between. Their “realistic” and yours don’t have to be the same to be true.
I did something that I rarely do. I tried on a one piece bathing suit. I grabbed it off the rack. It was cute and it was on sale. I decided to try it on and I laughed. I’m still laughing. How quickly I seemed to forget that I am just shy of 5’8″ and have a long torso. This bathing suit was NOT created for my reality. It was for sure created for someone else’s and it is surely as adorable on them as it was on me in my imagination. It would have only fit if I ran around like Quasimodo. I hope that leaves you with a visual.
We get lost in our own reality. There are days that we forget the one that we live in and we run out of grace for ourselves. There are days that we look at others and ask how in the world they could possibly complain. We get stuck this way and no one wins. I am a wife, mom, pastor, runner, writer, leader and a full-time employee for a company that does not pay me to do any of the other things listed. And thank God for it during this crazy time in our life. My reality on the last day of school is not begrudging how many times my kids will ask me for a snack this summer. My reality is that I will wake up tomorrow, put on pants (I really have a problem) and go to work while my kids are sleeping and my husband goes about his work day from home.
I have friends who are stay-at-home mom’s and they are planning their summer and how many times they will tell their kids to read a book if they are bored. That’s ok.
I will do things in an attempt to save time and still end up eating dinner at 8:30pm because that is our life schedule 4 out of 7 days a week. I have friends who will feed their family dinner at the same time I am getting home from work.
Some mom’s stay at home. Some wish they could and much like me, put on pants and talk about how it’s too hot for them. Some love their jobs outside of their home and know that that is what makes them awesome and the best mom to their kids. Some live in both worlds hoping they are doing the right thing. Some are crying over the last day of school because it means those kids will need activities all summer long. Some are crying because they wish they were driving their kids to the pool and library and every free event they can find. If it ain’t indoors or in water, sister don’t even try.
Can we all agree that this whole thing is not easy? Not for a single one of us. Can we all agree to show the different realities some grace? Can we all agree to pray for my eye rolling problem? I’ll work on it but only if we can collectively realize that her reality is not your problem and vice versa.
Can we all agree that we GET to do this? Ray and I just got to get away for 2 whole days. We got away for our first wedding anniversary and our 15th. We rested. We got to have conversations we have needed to have. We got to sit and watch the sunset. We got to take a step back and realize that we needed to get away but we love our life and are grateful it isn’t something we want to be away from. Is it easy? No. It isn’t. We work really hard, we stay really busy, have big dreams, big vision and even bigger God who continues to work these things out in us.
But this reality? We get to do this life that God calls us to. Take a step back with me and take a deep breath. The kids will ask for a snack or you will have to put pants on…and it will all be there tomorrow. For now, remember that He has prepared GOOD WORKS for us. For YOU! He has GOOD plans. He is a GOOD God. We got this.