Getting my kids ready for bed, my son tells me he has an ear ache. I start looking for homeopathic ear drops and Tylenol. I realize how strange that sentence may sound. I suppose that kind of sums me up. I am able to find…neither. I excel in organization. I eventually find some Tylenol but let’s face it, he’s 6 and medicine that doesn’t work immediately doesn’t matter. I need a placebo! I consider my “what mom would say” options and threw a small towel in the microwave because surely a little warmth is a good idea.
He freaked. Somewhere in his head, he was convinced that towel was too hot (for the record, it was not even close). I’m Mom. I love. I care. I protect. I provide. I listen. I instruct and I bake cookies. Hear me roar!
I got offended. Yes, by my 6yr old with an ear ache. He didn’t trust me with his pain. He didn’t trust I was trying to help. He didn’t trust that I had a clue.
I was offended for a whole 5.2 seconds.
Ever feel like God is loudly tapping you on the shoulder?
I do this. I may not freak out the same way (at least not outwardly) but the reason behind it is kind of the same.
Sometimes it catches me off guard. My fears speak much louder after the fact. It points to something deep and hidden that fears God won’t come through. A fear that maybe He doesn’t see. A fear that maybe there isn’t a purpose in what I’m going through. There is a fear that maybe something in front of me is too big for the One who created everything.
He is God. I’m not. He is not separated from my pain or my fears. He knows them. He searches and He sees. I pray that He does so and reminds me of it. I cannot hide. I am grateful for the moments where God lovingly reveals “the thoughts and intents of my heart”. I may not like what I see but He loves me enough to show me. He’s also sufficient in grace and mercy. He doesn’t have to be all loving about it. He’s God. He does anyway. He got my attention. This time, he did so through my 6yr old…who was running around when he was supposed to be in bed a whole ten minutes after the “mommy my ear hurts” incident.
Cephas was fine and I was alone with my thoughts on this whole thing.
We trust Him in our joys and moments of triumph. We must also trust Him with (as in, we don’t hold on to them) our fears and our pain. He carries. He sees. He doesn’t let go. He reigns.
Yup…all of this stemmed out of my six year old with an earache.
My children grow me daily